I read a February 4th Catholic News Agency article last week that addressed the concept of ordo amoris. It highlighted a recent interview with Vice President JD Vance. In the article, Vice President Vance, a Catholic, cited “rightly ordered love” in reference to the recent measures taken by the Trump administration pertaining to immigration. Vice President Vance was making the point that not all love is equal.  here is an order, or in other words, a hierarchy.  My purpose in mentioning the CNA article is to explore the idea of equality. Does equality really exist?
In mathematics, the equals (=) sign means that the values (expressions) on both sides of the sign are the same. For example, 5 + 4 = 9. The mathematical equation says there is equal value despite different expressions on both sides. There is an important distinction to make. Even though two things are equal, they are not always the same. Again, back to our equation. There are two numbers on the left side of the equation, and on the right side, there is one. Although the expressions are of equal value, the expressions are not the same. To be the same, it would have to state 9 = 9. Now, these are two equal and identical expressions. 
Let’s explore this concept of equality in relation to gender. In the order of nature, human beings have equal dignity. Just because I may be of one ethnic descent does not make me superior to another human being who may be of another ethnic descent. The erroneous belief that one ethnicity/race is superior to another is the root cause of pogroms and genocides in history. The Holocaust is a horrific example of this misguided and pernicious reality. So, in the order of nature, all humans have equal dignity.  We can say that masculine human dignity = feminine human dignity. However, man does not equal woman. They are distinct. There are differences. Following St. John Paul II’s thought, one can say that there are two different geniuses: male and female. Both are distinct and unique, but despite their uniqueness, they are complementary.  
Ok, what about love? Is all love equal? St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, and Vice President Vance would say, “No.” Not all love is equal. I would add that there is a “hierarchy” of love. The word hierarchy can evoke a visceral reaction in some of us, so let’s look at the word. The origins of the word are religious in nature. Around the 14th century, the meaning and use of the word expanded to refer to ranked order, a tiering of authority and structure. Today, we see the existence of hierarchies in the corporate world, the military, and even in psychology. The 20th century psychologist Abraham Maslow developed a theory called the “Hierarchy of Needs.” Initially a five-tiered hierarchy, he theorized that the human person has a hierarchy of needs that progresses from basic to more developed. The hierarchy goes from such needs as food and hydration to self-actualization (becoming who we are made to be). A premise of Maslow is that basic needs must be met first before other "higher" needs can be met. For example, before someone can embark on a career path involving higher education, the basic needs of food, shelter, and water must be met for that person to robustly pursue his/her career. It makes practical sense. Therefore, it is observable that in the natural order, there are hierarchies.
Back to love.  Not all love is equal. If I am married, my love for my wife is not equal to my love for my mother. These are two distinct loves. If I have children, my love for my children is not equal to my love for my neighbor. For a mother, her children have a higher place in her own personal hierarchy of love. If they don’t, love may trend toward disorder. For example, if I love my car more than God, this is an example of disordered love. Love of God, for a human being, ought to occupy the highest place in the human hierarchy of loves. Loving God above all will help me order my other loves appropriately. Let’s not forget the love reserved for oneself. Jesus even mentions this in the great commandment. How can we love others properly if we don’t love ourselves properly?
Before going further, it’s important to state that love is more than a feeling or emotion. Love is a decision! When a person prioritizes loving another, it helps both to become the people God has made them to be. The following is a quote from Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search For Meaning.
"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features of the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true." (Beacon Press, 2006, pp. 111-112)
This quote from Frankl communicates that when we prioritize loving another, we help that person and ourselves progress on the path of holiness. Is not the essence of holiness to become more like God? If I am made in the image and likeness of God as a man, then as I become the man I am made to be, I mirror God’s image and likeness more and more. I grow in holiness. According to Frankl, I become the man I am made to be by choosing to love another.
I conclude that not all things are equal. I also conclude that rightly ordered love is transformational for me and those I rightly love. It’s simple yet so profound. I leave you with the words of St. Paul.  He writes in Romans, “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another….” (Romans 13:8a)
God bless you.
-Bishop James T. Ruggieri